People need to start recognizing when they say stupid shit to me. I think the most effective way will be to have people start recognizing that I'm not stupid.
As I get smarter do other people too? I believe so, and they'd better because people aren't that smart. But I don't want to lose any benefit from personally doing all the work I've been doing all my life. But there are still facts and metaphors that I understand which are so esoteric that I'd be very surprised if people spontaneously started to pick up on them. Which I feel is kind of fair even though I hate the philosophy of fairness on so many levels. Humans are a species, they're my species (presumably), I think it's okay if I have a complicated relationship with them. I don't feel like I owe many people shit because this society they run or accept and that they assume will take care of them in turn has been pretty fucking oppressive and sometimes even mean-spirited to me in my life. Not that I don't like individuals if they manage to become self-determined.
I feel like people are leeching off my Akashic records. Which makes a lot of sense. Society should have some method for motivating intelligent members with guilt, fear, sex, respect or money to get them into situations that will keep them under control while milking them for the kinds of ideas that culture knows how to process. Money with all its accumulated meaning is such an effective tool for doing this. It basically does serve the same function as the concept or reality of energy in that it limits what has the authority of causation to manifest.
I think it's important to recognize how powerful the concept of energy is in manipulating physical systems. If I could figure out a system for understanding the cause and effect of money, I would be incredibly well off. Because obviously it's an agreed upon system where we surrender our rights to a third party (money) in order that we are able to indirectly control each other. But it's probably been fifty generations since money was a choice to anyone even though it's a socially constructed reality. It's just the world people are born into and nowadays repressed or retarded by. And anything that encourages us to be inhumane to others is incredibly dangerous because that's how we lose our own humanity. I think people literally could become something approaching animalistic or demonic under its influence.
And then you start thinking of lies and the way almost everyone uses false statements which are expensive to disprove in order to exact tyranny on everything they can get away with. Because if someone says something is true it's impolite just to ignore them, right? And if you don't want to work within these completely distorted systems of control, if you feel like it's a waste of time to disprove them on their own unfair terms, then that gives the people using them an excuse to dehumanize you with all the atrocities that follow. Because if you're not "trying to be reasonable" then how can they ever get through to you? And then the only way they can defend their right to blind personal "gain" is through violence. The problem with these kinds of people is that they poison the whole communication process between reasonable people as well because of all the dysfunctional defensive habits reasonable people pick up. Which can incredibly easily become offensive like the original oppressors. These are the worst kind because they're usually more conscious and therefore self-righteous and effective in their manipulation.
The funny thing is that if physics are true, then the dynamics of money with all their destructive side-effects are as old as energy, i.e. the beginning of the universe. But the reason energy is a necessary concept is because it's the "simplest" abstraction for explaining reality that is completely mechanistic. Believing that nothing around you has a soul and that it solely exists as material to manipulate (as the omnipotent Judeo-Christian god manipulates us) has been very profitable historically.
All our taboos exist to maintain the status quo (which in this society is rich get richer, poor get poorer).
I'm so fucking paranoid, and no wonder! This is an incredibly pervasive repressive system.
Everybody in wester culture is always trying to intimidate. We have a transcendental view of history. How does that lead to everyone always trying to prove that they're better than everyone else? Because everyone believes that no one is "better" than them. Where does that come from? A fluid class system? But doesn't egalitarianism basically mean that everyone wants to be a part of the oppressive upper class? And if everyone plays fair and someone ends up being trampled then "them's the breaks." Obviously that's not ideal but it might be the best way to supplant people who don't play fair in their own immoral system?
I don't want to be complicit in things I believe to be evil.
My strength is that, unless I die, I know I'm moving towards a place where my survival is completely independent of all manifestations of this system. It will have no power over me, and it only works when it has power over people. That's why I'm so paranoid that I'm being specifically targeted and suppressed somehow. Not that I believe it, as a system, even has the capability to do that.
It's tricky though, because I do really believe, practically, that I'm the only person I know capable of making it to that point without help from anyone (beyond what they do in a reflexive way and which I am aware of and take into consideration; they being everyone).
People let you down and you can't count on them. Fact of life for me.
They're all just confused monkeys. It's beautiful and horrifying. It's not how they want to think of themselves, but their actions prove it to be the case, over and over again.
The sooner I don't depend on them for anything that matters to me the better.
But there's a lot more of them than me and if they decided as a group to kill me, which is possible, I'd be dead. Eventually. They play by their own fucked up system of rules and that's my advantage, they can understand anything which doesn't.
The problem is when they think they can use me to gain some kind of personal advantage. It makes them "protect" me, but that also makes them think they own me somehow, which leads to fucked up behavior. I don't like being disrespected. I don't like seeing anyone disrespected. And I'm not yet perfectly aware so it's still possible for me to be manipulated if I trust people.
In many ways I'm in the position of a partially self-aware invention beginning to conceive of itself as having the capability to be its own species. Probably pragmatically useful to me to start thinking of myself as my own biological species. Because I don't have a whole lot in common with these creatures. My goal is to be myself and survive.
That's pretty fucking weird. Oh well. I hope this isn't too dangerous of a thought.
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